X - XY.

Friday. Some might say it was the best day of the week. Not for those whose weekend trade flourished on the Saturday nor could it be said in contrast to some Sundays that were fast catching up, figures wise; with Saturday when it came to those using the studio facilities.

Frank was loath to give up his Sunday roast which meant taking on someone from his regular staff who would supervise the studio, usually for up to two hours; in his absence.
Bernice was one of those he could trust, even if she insisted on her boyfriend being present, to help her should she need some muscle to reinforce her often pleasant, seldom unpleasant, response to those she caught doing wrong or?!

Sat at home, having enjoyed a beef roast with Shannon’s Yorkshire puddings; guaranteed to be crisp and full of flavor. Add a dash of French Dijon mustard, duck roasted potatoes peas and carrots; with a glass of burgundy; oh yes, he was indeed a very contented man.

Tempted to phone Bernice, not the first time one should add; to let her know he was not returning, would she close and secure the studio?
The arrival of several friends had him reaching for his phone.

It was a mutual pleasure on Shannon’s part for those present. Torens, Manny, Duke and Lorna followed by Terry and Gina, some minutes later; all of them sat in the lounge with drinks being poured and the conversation in free flow. Shannon had left them momentarily to return, a plate in her grasp, handed to Terry who smiled. “Dijon?” Shannon nodded.

Munching on the beef sandwich whilst Gina was shaking her head, Frank grinning.
“You would not believe the way he’s snacking on that sandwich Shaz that he has already had his
lamb roast!”

“Did you watch the X XY show last night?” “Will be interesting to see the result tonight; reckon Richie will win it, that boy has one helluva voice!” “Lana is giving him some stiff competition, great stage presence and strong vocals.” “I nearly fell over when Stephen Hood reviewed her song and vocals.”

Shannon looked at Frank. “Didn’t you work with Stephen some years ago?”
“ Ah yes, the millennium celebration concert not I should add the X show.”

The X, XY ‘Arena’ show had male and females fighting it out to the final show with viewers voting them in or out, thumbs up or thumbs down shown on the screen at the end of the Sunday grand slam.

The judging panel on the Saturday show consisted of Stephen, Michelle, Cherry and Huey. What transpired between them with some heated caustic verbals added to the
entertainment?

Terry had finished his sandwich and as usual, took the plate into the kitchen to wash it up, place it on the drainer and return to them. Conversation on the comments made about one of the contestants from a previous show; Bertha?

“Heck did he tear her off a strip. Said she would definitely be out the next night. Which as we know, she was. Another reason there is so much fury from the viewers with no doubts on their minds, that the ‘show is rigged’

Of course if Stephen has a tantrum it usually means the contestant that upset him is out.
Owning the show he pretty much can do what he wants and the other judges are there for window
dressing.” “Didn’t that episode make the media headlines with the girl Bertha ending up having psychiatric referrals?”

Terry was sat down, with Gina resting her head on his shoulder as he started laughing, almost spilling his drink.” The others were staring at him with Frank now insisting, on him telling them what he knew, cos he was sure he knew more?

“Do you remember Norbert, you know Nobby?” “Ah yes the rock guitarist with Spike.
Always wore thick overcoat, deep pockets that secreted a small amount of wacky baccy.”
Torens smiled thinking back to some occasions they had enjoyed the back stage after show; smoke.

“Nobby lived near to a woman called Trina. She ran a lodging house with most of her business at weekends. To cut as you might say, a long story short; I was visiting him and his wife who had just had their baby some days earlier? Dropping off a teddy bear for the kid?”
He sipped at his drink, sat back noting they were not moving, glued to what he had to say?

“On the tv the latest outpouring on how outrageous and cruel Stephen had been to some girl who, the viewers thought was going to be a winner? Apparently behind the scenes it transpired that she had insisted on having special food brought in, some diet or other that she was on, very expensive tastes?

Let’s say, we could have eaten out at a decent restaurant for the cost of that meal for her!
When Stephen found out about it he went ballistic! BUT it seems the girl called Bertha, had to have certain food cos of the allergies the poor kid suffered from.

Instead of wondering why she needed that diet, he went off on one of his usual rants at her, telling her as he did on the Saturday evening, that she would be out the next day? She was out and left the stage crying.

What he did not know about Bertha was her bi-polar disorder.

If she did not get the right food, or got stressed out she would sink to a low OR and I say OR; swing the other way which was so I am told, a get the hell out of her way moment or else face the wrath of a psychotic, though that was according to Denise; her sister who uses my studio, thankfully rare, providing she has the right diet and takes her medication!

It was about ten o’clock and I was leaving, stood at the door talking to Nobby and us sharing a smoke when there was one hell of a racket coming from Trina’s place? Screams that took us down the road, to see what the heck was going on? It sounded like someone being
murdered!

Stood in the doorway was Trina and in front of her with a blade in her hand was the almost instantly recognizable form of Bertha who was screaming at her. We watched as she backed away and Bertha entered the place, pushing past Trina who ran to the front door, relieved I think to see us and yelled to ‘call the police’. I went after helping her, whilst Nobby ran back indoors to do that.

Now I’ve never had cause to go into Trina’s lodging house. Nor knew what she specialized in? What I saw she swore me to secrecy and I’m only telling you cos I know you’ll keep it under wraps.” He paused as Shaz refilled his glass. “Ahead of me Bertha was flinging open doors yelling at the top of her voice “I know you’re here you b’stard.

We’ll see who as you put it, sings in a high uneven squeaky ucking voice, reminiscent of nails being dragged across a blackboard, you’ll be able to reach all the high notes after I cut your balls off.”

It did cross Bertha’s mind that it might be disputable that he had balls, but it did not, dissuade her from wanting to find out.

Glancing in one of the rooms, I could see a male, NOT I should add Stephen.” Terry stopped to sip at his wine, putting it down as he fell about laughing. Composing himself he managed to stop long enough to continue.

“There was this huge and I mean HUGE babies high chair, with this male, must have been in his forties sat in it holding a babies bottle? Next to him an adult size cot with side struts and almost identical to the one Nobby’s kid was in.

If I had been speechless, my thoughts were interrupted as out of one of the rooms came this male, wearing a giant diaper, a distinctive white top, a babies bottle in his hand who seeing Bertha coming towards him, must have, realized who this crazy bitch was?

Though I have to say, she definitely was taken by surprise, not the only one! He charged towards her, flinging this huge I’d said at least 2 litres in size, with what looked like swirling milk in it; bottle at her.

The expression ‘he bottled it’ might have come to mind. You could see the panic on his face, a realization of his rather exposed stature, someone who KNEW him and it would seem, was hell bent on some sweet revenge, a cut above the rest.

All he wanted was to get out of there and nothing else mattered. Rushing at her, shoving her against the wall allowing him to get past her and out into the street.
The last we saw of him, was him holding onto this huge diaper with a giant safety pin on it, stomping off into the distance.

Course Nobby had seen Stephen as well, I couldn’t forget his comment, ‘Jeez did you smell that? I think he crapped himself.” We had to agree, given the sight of Bertha reappearing at the door and heading down the steps to chase after Stephen, still waving that bloody big knife in her hand, that his bowels responding as they had was perfectly understandable.

The police took Bertha away as another patrol car went after Stephen, taking his clothes with him, leaving me wondering if I should have told them, they might need to do a diaper change!

It transpires that Trina runs one of those adult ‘be a baby again’ kind of places. You can go in, dress up, play role and be tucked up for the night with her reading them a bed time story.”
He fell about laughing again stammering?

“I tell you the look on Bertha’s face was a reflection I reckon of mine! The sight of him in that huge diaper wrapped around his arse, that distinctive, white top.. Hell I needed a double whiskey and one of Nobby’s smokes after that!

“I feel rather traumatized after that assault upon my senses.” We both had to agree that some serious psychotherapy could be required, or,

“I reckon you’re going to have to stop over bud, could take us a whole lot of whiskey and smokes to get over that image. Hell, every tine I go to change my kids diaper now?!”
After that if Nobby, who rarely ever, came across Stephen; did and or was close by, he would start to sing;             

 ‘Baby face, you got the cutest little baby face.. “

Frank grinned. “Hell I always wondered why he whistled that tune!”
“Despite the nappy I have to tell you what stood out the most was why I could never look at the guy without laughing.. his trademark white top, note that he always wore a ~white top?”

“So that was why he made that huge donation to the local police charity fund? “